Log in

17 February 2008 @ 12:01 am
After posting depressing post I went to toilet and checked my cervix (still new to this)....and found cervical hole for the first time ever. It felt a bit open!

Before I was too squickened out to really touch my cervix.


CM is still creamy though.
16 February 2008 @ 11:13 pm
Until this month it was always clear whether I ovulated or not with my temps. Then this month I had a shift in temps but it was smaller than usual. And I had to check temps during day times as well to see if they were 'low' or 'higher', and they were pre-O low. The reason I hoped I really O'd (oh, the power of denial) despite this sobering evidence on the contrary - was because of watery CM patch timing.

It turned out the dodgy temps were because of dying battery. Now I've got new thermometer yesterday, this morning the temp seems to be back to normal pre ovulation levels - at '6-7DPO', either a dip in 'luteal phase' or ovulation never happened this cycle yet at CD24. Just the thought of this gets me so down. Especially I am going to be away from husband tomorrow for a few days during which missed ovulation may happen, and it might be long luteal phase and another looong month before my next O....what a potentially unfruitful stretch of time ahead of me. I despair of my slooooow PCOS ovaries right now, despite the joy of good news about 7DPO progesterone levels few days ago.

It's first time I am seriously down by this whole TTC thing after only 2 ovulations (which is nothing compared to other people's years) (we also merrily have low sex drive as well and I was just getting excited by 'high' conception chance given by FF that mistakenly thought I O'd)

It feels a bit lonely too as I know no one else close who is also TTC in real life, even if there's nobody pregnant to be jealous of (all my friends being single, clever PhD, too busy in career being in early 20s - and it's so hard not to become withdrawn...no one else knows we're TTC and my near-all-consuming FF obsession will surely seem like a madness from the outside....


((this pointless venting post will be deleted once optimism comes back))
16 February 2008 @ 11:11 pm
Good news: 7DPO progesterone levels are great - 38 at luteal phase compared with 2.5 at follicular phase. Day 3 blood test was repeated as well and the results showed completely normal thyroid levels (last time TSH levels were higher)

The only anomaly was low SHBG which made free androgen index high, which is classic marker of PCOS.
I am still not sure what low SHBG is caused by and how can one increase it.

There is nothing else we can do at the moment other than keep trying on our own for another 6 months as ovulating (however late) is not the problem...(they have referred me to fertility clinic in 6 months)
14 February 2008 @ 09:53 am
- This might be the earliest ovulation I've ever had since starting charting - at CD18! But temps have been more erratic it's harder to tell if the smaller than normal shift in temps is genuinely due to progesterone effect. The hope is that I have already passed 'watery' patch which matches with the timing of the shift. The counter-hope is that my repeated temp taking during day time show low temps which is very pre-O, unlike last month.

- The diet still has not improved CMs greatly, so still no eggwhite CM, but at least there was 'watery'. The chance of conception rating according to FF is 'High' ;)

- I have an appointment with OBGYN today and I am quite excited about it, especially about my repeat Day 3 and 7DPO blood test results. I'll be surprised if they'd give me Clomid, which must imply that I don't ovulate which'd have to be a surprise given clear biphasic BBT with healthy luteal phase lengths every cycle. It's also harder with Metformin too - it's not known yet if I am really IR and I am not overweight or hairy either.
28 January 2008 @ 08:23 pm
One of those wacky American fad diet with garish website? Maybe...but I did enjoy.

Good results
- Lost 8lbs
- Lost 1 inch of waist
- Blood sugar stabilized - not hungry and shaky even if I had not snack for 5-6 hours. Before I would not last 1-2 hrs without snack.
- having fun with different food (if you're that kind of person)
- not missing potatoes, pasta, bread, rice

Am only CD5. Now, this cycle may tell:
- cycle shorter? earlier ovulation? *fingers crossed*

Downsides (first week)
- first week was terrible and physically incapacitating/hypoglycaemic lethargy (not anymore now, but that was the hurdle to overcome)
- constipation (now resolved with phyllium husk supplements and more vegs)
- going to loo all time even at night (due to losing muscle sugar and hence water, stopped now)
- a bit ouch at expensive health food budgeting (still ongoing)
- missing cheesecake, chocolate, truffles, cherry pie, waffles with choc cream...(dealing with this)
21 January 2008 @ 08:32 pm
Still negative at 13DPO.

2 looong days to go before period.

Cause for Pessimism: no symptoms whatsoever, already watery CM which is a sign of endometrium breaking down for period
Cause for cautionary Optimism: Temps high for my usual post-O temps, only period will tell the truth, denial is good


ETA at 14DPO: Temp crashed as well
ETA at 15DPO: Temp low as yesterday but still no period! I am outraged at FAM losing its perfect predictive powers...it should have been today this morning!))
ETA at 16DPO: No period in morning but after prolonged cramping it finally showed up at 7pm...longest luteal phase I had.
17 January 2008 @ 07:27 pm
I ovulated the next day after South Beach diet, which is interesting coincidence.

It's my second week of South Beach diet and I am feeling fatigued, weak, urinating frequently, head blacking out when I stand up (but no nausea or sore breast thing). I don't normally experience anything PMS.

ETA: Resoundingly negative test at 11DPO today - 4 days before my expected period. Will check again on Monday. It's too tempting to equate total lack of line=no HGC floating around though...
10 January 2008 @ 09:09 am
PCOS was confirmed for me. Zero suprise, but still very unpleasant to hear about deformed multitple cysts filled enlarged ovaries.

Tackling Insulin resistance seems all Rage in PCOS world full of overweight hairy creatures with endless stories of cycles turning back to normal and women conceiving straight away after sugar deprivation diets...Henceforth I join the hardcore South Beach diet bandwagon...
05 January 2008 @ 07:00 pm
It's cool now that I have access to internet and order super cheap pregnancy tests thanks to google skillz,
so I can test at 8,10,12,14DPO and have hope 'too early' diminishing slowly with every negative test rather than single crushing negative test at 14DPo after looong impatient wait. So this is rather fun.

Instead of a TWW I'm plagued with another episode of shyer ovulation...and it's already CD29, at which women have their period already and can restart their cycle quickly...
06 December 2007 @ 10:54 pm
11DPO already, tested negative 10DPO morning.
I still don't feel anything yet.
I've never been a PMS-person nor am having anything out of ordinary for now.